Archive for August, 2008
How Our High Priest Spent His Summer Vacation
(Yes, that’s him on the far right on water skis… who knew?) Click here for article, then scroll about halfway down for Magus Gilmore’s response.
And speaking of whom, Magus Gilmore was recently interviewed on NightWatch, a paranormal/horror radio program. Direct link to the mp3 of the interview is right here.
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An Open Letter To All Of You Obama Worshipers
Dear suckers,
It appears that the time has rolled around again. Get out your silly hats and noisemakers, your confetti and your sports fan attitudes, and remember to also bring along some solipsism, which I hear goes great with a trendy vegan diet. It’s time for another election. Time for the soap opera geared to make you all feel better about your lot and give you the illusion that your participation in the process actually matters. It’s a time for soothing rhetoric and misguided histrionics. And, oh, yes, a time for worship.
I have seen you on the news (with your adorable little protest signs, no less), read your blogs, your quotes in articles, your screeds on message boards, and I’ve certainly heard your inane and meaningless chatter — lots of it, even. Strained through the filter of reason, it’s painfully apparent that when you’re not sounding like some obsessed lover or mindless rock music groupie, you’re certainly exhibiting behavior all too reminiscent of the adulation and total devotion given to a god, prophet, or savior. The language many of you are using — the sentences filled with longing and romantic passion — is unmistakable, though it’s hard to figure out whether you wish more to elevate him or ejaculate on him. Believe me, I’ve read less saucy subtext in Penthouse Forum, and they’re downright naughty in there. One only wonders if you could keep it in your pants long enough to pull a voting lever or push a button or whatever other feeder bar type device you all use now.
Honestly, I think it’s a bit of both. Like Baptists during Sunday service, whose physical reactions to the sermon resemble wanton displays of orgasm — swooning, hand waving, eyes rolling back in the head, you name it. It’s lust and piety, inextricably bound. Come all ye faithful, indeed.
What is thoroughly entertaining is your infantile stubbornness to admit your illness. Claim all of the open-minded, critically thinking, intellectually-driven, and even atheistic positions you like, but many of you are bowing at the altar of Obama who, in this case, fulfills your poorly masked desire for faith. Real, deep, weak, stupid faith. Congratulations on your new God substitute, people. Wonder what the new one will look like in 2012?
Oh, and keep calling him “Barry.” So darn cute. Just like a cuddly little teddy bear.
“But, no, Matt, you don’t understand. It’s all about… CHANGE!” Oh, I’ve heard this record played a thousand times: the evil tyrant Republicans will be cast in the lake of fire by the angelic, flawless, and ever-loving Democrats and, finally, we’ll all be free. Free at last, free at last! And we’ll all get this amorphous (if even guaranteed) thing called “change.” You know what change is? Change is comprised of the coins that rattle in my pocket, which every bum on the corner wishes I’d throw him mercifully. And as it is on the street, so too is it on the world stage. Change will come when the Powers That Be find it profitable and agreeable to do so. Read your Machiavelli, kids.
Barring that cheeky analogy, “change” is a slogan, a well-wrought tool of the demagogue to sway the knee-jerk sentiment of the masses in his direction. It’s another way of saying, “Blow me and I’ll get you that raise you want” and then trying to deny the fact that you’re in a bathroom stall at the bus station, on your knees with a bad taste in your mouth and feeling rather used. Want some more denial? Here are some typical responses from your average slackjawed American when asked what they want from Obama.
“It’s, like, all about change, and stuff.”
“Change, man. We need change.”
“Obama is SO for change.”
“CHANGE!”
And that’s about as far as the thought process tends to go. For all of you otherwise intelligent people still caught in the belief of voting power, you have millions of these parroting morons right in your own political backyard. Comforting, I’m sure. As long as they vote like you, of course.
Aside from the true believers in the Word of Obama (“Praise Be To Change”), there are some other motivating factors as to why this man made it past the primaries. Even some reasons a lot of really nice people don’t want to mention. Since I’m not one of those, allow me to elucidate…
1) Obama is the new black. Yes, you read that correctly (and in all of its double-meaning glory). He is no different for some than the newest chart-topping hit song, the newest sneaker, or the newest Internet trend. And since he’s young in a culture that fears age (read: McCain) more than poverty, disease, and loneliness combined, that makes him “cool” — and he “really rocks,” too. Awesome! Bring on the MTV coverage!
2) Obama is the ointment upon the wound of white guilt. Okay, more like snake oil, but I digress… It’s not a secret that there exists a segment in our culture that needlessly subscribes to the notion that white people, as a whole, are to blame for the trade and ownership of black people as slaves which occurred over 150 years ago — you know, when none of us were even alive. It’s a message fed to us by many sources, all of which with their own agenda. So, in a mad dash to desperately disprove that they have a racist bone in their bodies, check goes the vote for “the black man.” I can sense a few of you cringing right now, but that doesn’t discount the reality that some of you are eager to shed the stink of “the white devil” and loudly exclaim that you’re down with B. O. (though, I suppose that’s also a crack to the hippie supporters who don’t bathe.)
3) Obama is the new JFK. Yes, Camelot 2 is coming, according to the cultists. Or not. Though, like Kennedy, it’s not a stretch to say that Obama might also be assassinated, but perhaps sooner than later. Then you’ll have to get used to saying, “President Biden” — and won’t that be fun? Oh, as if it mattered.
And since I can expect that the simple-minded and the emotionally volatile will cry foul at my singling out their cult icon, I can assure you that I have no favoritism for McCain, either. He has his own throng of puppet devotees, ready to worship him, the flag, and a God all in one fell swoop. McCain is also a creation of well-crafted media and quasi-effective scriptwriting — just like Obama. The result of this choreographed dichotomy? Instant duality — just add water and bake for 20 minutes. Any two will do, really. As long as they’re marketed well. And it’s just so… biblical. Familiarity makes the medicine go down smoother, I know.
(And, now that McCain has taken on the token female as his VP candidate, the group hug contingency is now complete. You can now indulge in your desire for limited choice; pick your flavor of manipulation and don’t forget to FEEL GOOD.)
I suppose I can give kudos to the political world for one thing, a quality it has had since ancient times, and that would be its absolutely magnifying view of the human condition, its revealing of the psychology of the weak, the stupid, the gullible, the hopeful, the desperate, and those needing to be a part of something, and how others react, in turn, to them. Like an ant farm, I suppose, except that ants actually adhere to a natural hierarchy instead of creating one and then worshiping it as if innate. That’s right, political worshipers, you have been bested by insects.
So, thank you for being my amusement, my Petri dish, and my lessons on what not to be, do, or buy into. As November approaches, I will be enjoying the Winter weather and no doubt raising a toast to the imbecility of the herd and its penchant for distraction and inertia. I’ll certainly miss those wacky Bush administration antics, but the next episode should be positively hilarious. Bring it on!
Love and Hexes,
MGP
“The Hebrew God Will Fall…”
“…and then the Christian God will be cast down and forgotten!”
Perfect… late birthday… present!
Fun facts from Wikipedia: “Mola Ram is named after a 17th century Indian painter. Lucas wanted Mola Ram to be terrifying, so Huyck and Katz added elements of Aztec and Hawaiian human sacrificers, and European devil worship, to the character. To create his headdress, make-up artist Tom Smith based the skull on a cow, and used a latex shrunken head. Puri was chosen as Spielberg and Lucas did not want to cast a European actor and apply dark make-up.”
No commentsLex Luthor As Satanic Archetype?
While this dissection of Superman’s archenemy is not exactly philosophically pure from a truly Satanic standpoint (of course, neither are Judge Dredd or The Punisher, though they have some rather obvious parallels to reveal), it does offer some insight and occasionally brushes against Satanism just enough to merit its appearance here at Diabologue. Minus all of the criminal nonsense, of course.
from MightyGodKing.com: “It should come as no surprise, then, that Luthor shares a number of personality traits with Satan in John Milton’s Paradise Lost. Able to inspire/charismatic? Check. Proud? Big check there. Narcissistic? Check. Selfish? Check…”
Of course, Superman is a glaring metaphor for Christianity’s central martyr figure, something many fans of Superman comics and movies probably miss because metaphor goes over the heads of most people, who shuffle through their lives as mindless zombies. Not that I’m trying to make a point of that or anything.
No commentsReview: Botched
Comedy horror seems to be making a wee bit of a comeback these days. From the fun (Slither) to the stupid (Hatchet) to the truly inspired (Otis), it’s certainly a far cry from the sub-genre’s earliest (intentional) attempt, Student Bodies, which could be considered the retarded grandfather of the comedy/horror experiment — the one you hide from the neighbors in total embarassment. But sometimes, the occasional moments of genre adoption result in a nicely unexpected hybrid. Thankfully, Botched is one of those.
Botched starts out as a heist movie — more specifically, we begin with a diamond heist gone horribly wrong. At the head of this failure is Ritchie Donovan (Stephen Dorff), a man trying to free himself from a debt with a rather unscrupulous organized crime figure. To make amends, Donovan is more or less forced to take on another task: to recover an antique cross from a couple of rather demented individuals residing on the otherwise unused 13th floor of a skyscraper in the heart of Moscow. Assigned to be his helpers are, in short, a moron and a loose cannon, which is where the laughs truly begin.
It’s fair to say that this heist also goes awry, and the criminal trio end up having to take hostages from a packed elevator. What they learn about each other and the assumed police officer on the other end of the security walkie-talkie throws the plot of the film into full gear.
So many things are right about this movie. The camerawork at times harkens back to Raimi-esque, Evil Dead, manic-paced stalkercam. (And wasn’t that a mouthful!) Each person on the 13th floor is definitely an example of character acting at its funniest. Dialogue follows suit with some great bits amidst the very gory carnage. I can still hear Boris the security guard endlessly chanting in his hilariously overdone Russian accent, “I am alpha male, I am alpha male, I am alpha male.”
The standout character (without ruining too much of the plot here) has to be the Ivan the Terrible wannabe. He seems like something out of a wacked out Coen Brothers movie (and I’m definitely thinking about Tex Cobb’s “road warrior” type character in Raising Arizona here), but in complete berzerker mode. And what a sense of humor this bloodlusting combatant has. Wait until you see his disco dance floor. No, really.
This looks to be a directorial debut from Kit Ryan, with a lot of unknown actors aside from Dorff. It has an indie feel to it, but certainly not amateurish. There are some reviewers who completely trashed this film, obviously lacking a needed black sense of humor — which, of course, I do not lack. Definitely a strong rental suggestion, at the very least.
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Apple’s “Mystery Product” Musings
According to AppleInsider (and many others), Apple plans on releasing some sort of mystery product. The usual guesses have gone around, some of which include this whole fixation on a Mac tablet, which I just don’t see as being incredibly viable in a consumer marketplace, but maybe someone knows something I don’t. What seems stronger than rumor and more like insider information is coming from Digg founder, Kevin Rose, who talks about a new iPod line (including a smooth-beveled Nano; possible pic of which found here), iTunes 8.0, and other things. (Watch his video on that here.) But aside from these, my main theory (which, upon doing some Googling, appears to be supported by others) is a potential release of something like an AppleTV Take 3 with DVR capabilities (also discussed here), and possibly a Bluetooth-enabled iPod doubling as a remote control. An AppleTV+DVR would no doubt go up against the Netflix box known as Roku, but that little box has some drawbacks. Not only is its current memory capacity causing some minor buffering issues but it is limited in scope, namely tied to a diminutive portion of one service: Netflix (though, admittedly, their $100 price tag is affordable enough to make it easily dispensable when officially outdated). Apple has its hands in so much more and the first two “takes” of AppleTV would be some decent groundwork for stepping into the DVR territory. (Some comparisons between Roku and AppleTV are being discussed here.)
Of course, a DVR is now somewhat useless to me, but could seriously put Apple in a lucrative position with the TV-obsessed masses. What I’d like to see in a Take 3 version (chiefly, to watch podcasts on my living room set) is some composite plugs for us analog TV people. (Yes, I still have a late-90s TV… sue me.) It was an extraordinarily dumb move to shut out SDTV people, considering that by many statistics, we are about 70% of North American TV owners. Unless those composite plugs are put in, I suppose SDTV owners will be repurposing their Mac Minis in attempts at emulation.
Of course, I wouldn’t be surprised if Apple went all-out and released an all-in-one TV set / AppleTV / DVR combination device, with the latter two technologies nestled inside a nice but good-sized flat-panel display unit — perhaps something vaguely resembling the most recent iMacs but larger. That pretty much rounds up a great deal of the audio/video package for many: television, (possible) DVD/CD player, mp3s, YouTube, online movie rentals, podcasts (video and audio), and whatever else I’m missing. Now, yes, Apple attempted a TV set / computer combination back in 1993 (for those who remember this blip on the tech radar), but that predated a whole lot of current A/V media (mentioned in this very paragraph) and it had its own memory issues as well. Maybe this idea’s time has finally come.
There’s an Apple event going down on 9 September (probably for the new iPods, as hinted about in their promotional art), but perhaps one of my predictions or something else of that magnitude will happen early next year, possibly during this rumored Apple event in late-February 2009, but perhaps at Macworld 2009 in January, or even the WWDC 2009, whenever that will be. It’s all a wait game until then.
1 commentExcerpt from Bearing The Devil’s Mark
from “The Internet: Tool of Stratification”
Copyright © 2007 by Matt G. Paradise. All Rights Reserved.
Of course in the online world, fools come in all stripes and some of them are certainly attracted to Satanism, or at least what they think it is. Yes, their knowledge on the subject runs the gamut: from music subculture idiots to those who want to rewrite Satanism for their own lame purposes, and still many unimaginative others. In all cases, it’s clear (though, sometimes not to them) that they are grossly incompatible with Satanism but their fragile egos can’t handle the rejection. So, they whine and fuss and throw their best hissy fits in misguided dissent, blubbering that the Church of Satan made a mistake in sending them on their way or that (all of a sudden) we’re not practicing real Satanism — a conclusion many didn’t manage to reach until the most convenient moment for it, of course. Methinks they protest too late.
The Internet enters the picture when the recently rejected, or non-Satanist in denial, finds that there are other rejects online who also had their membership fees turned away as a result of criminal activity and other well-advertised stupidity on the Web, or figured out slowly that what is and always has been firmly established Satanic philosophy runs counter to their own personalities and dispositions. Seeing as some simply can’t take no for an answer, a vocal minority of them band together, forming their sob-sister “organizations” by setting up terribly designed websites, even more terribly designed MySpace pages (complete with a confused mish-mash of stolen graphics, photos, and videos, often pilfered from the sites of legitimate CoS members), and maybe even actual message boards, all to endlessly bitch and moan like spurned lovers about the fascist, tyrannical, nefarious (and don’t forget elitist) CoS and how it’s all changed since Dr. LaVey died.
The truth is that it hasn’t. And when put to brass tacks, all of their accusations come up predictably empty in the specificity department. None of them have any clear, factual, and substantial explanations for how the Church of Satan has steered away from the foundation laid down by LaVey, other than those complaints deeply rooted in their own (or someone else’s) illiterate misunderstandings of The Satanic Bible. In most cases, they are on the outside looking in, and it embarrassingly shows in their assertions. But still undeterred, a dozen voices will cry in white trash unison, “It’s just changed, man!” Okay… man. Tell it to the ragtag flock of drug-addled teens, subculture losers, petty criminals, disturbed sluts, abused kids, and various throwaways that you’ve managed to attract. Because Christians need their Devil just like pseudo-Satanists need the Church of Satan. I think I speak for all of us when I say that you can have the wastrels. You can be a filter for stratification. Job’s all yours. Thanks for playing.
Of course, the primary stratification filter is the Internet itself. Before all of this, a Satanic hopeful or even a longtime card-carrying member might have never discovered any conflict between himself and the philosophy. He could have gone on his merry way, safe in the ignorance of quasi-understanding The Satanic Bible at best and thinking he’s a very powerful and erudite Satanist because nothing or no one is seemingly available to prove otherwise. But thanks to the Internet, he is now exposed to very real Satanists — to our work, our ideas and thoughts, our modes of behavior — and that doesn’t allow him to kid himself for very long by comparison. He must contend with actual Satanists from around the world who not only read TSB far more carefully than he did, but are also living examples of it. At this moment, the bubble has been burst.
And that exposure runs both ways. Rather than make a quiet exit, some of these receivers of rude awakening loudly exclaim their position all over the Internet, but with generous amounts of over-dramatic spin. Some attempt to make trouble, while others just demand to be listened to by anyone who won’t make fun of them. In short, they red-flag themselves — often, unknowingly. And we all have this marvelous technology to thank. So, thank you, Internet. Please continue to provide rope to the hang-worthy. [end of excerpt]
Want to read the rest of the essay? Pick up a copy of Bearing The Devil’s Mark today!
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