Like A Ferris Wheel Full of Gay Scubadivers
from the website:
There is a huge population of people trying to make themselves look like gangsters and thugs while talking in fabricated words and taking shirtless pictures of themselves in their bathrooms with camera phones. Fat 19-year-old’s with half a dozen children that they dress up like dolls keep trying to talk to me as if I think they are human beings. I’ve decided to go undercover and infiltrate their community by acting as one of their own. Here are the results of my experiment…
Me: GURL U’S FIIINE. I STAY OVA ON MURGGLE STREET BY JENSON’S. SO WUT U INTO? WE SHULD GET 2GETHA SUM TIME AND KICK IT.
Her: fasho lyk i stay by the colliseum on 4OTH PLACE BT WE CAN KICC IT DIS FRI/SAT? ITS UP TOO YU JUST DROP YA NUM OR ILL GIVE YU MINE BABY
Me: word. we shuld head down 2 smooodle strett ova by the purplenurple and get us sum tenderbuggs. u eva had dat shyt? a sexxi thing lyke u should antoo.
Her: NO IVE NEVER HAD ONE :}….. SO WHEN ? LOL YU HAVE A CAR ?
Me: I take great joy in the fact that our speaking in broken English does not distract from our lust for using made up words and fictional names for places that don’t exist. And to answer your question… nah i dont guts no car, but i can gets one any time. we shuld hook up an get some skunkertoofs this weekend den chill at mah plce ova on murggle streat. Imma treat u rite all night long.
Her: LOL THAT SOUNDS GOOD WITH ME PAPI
Me: The human race is doomed.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you… HollaDaddy.com! (Thank you, Sam!)