Movie Review Quick Cuts

Friday The 13th (2009) – Having unfortunately seen it in the theaters, I later rented it to see if it really was as bad as I remembered. And it is. Terribly structured script for any genre, but especially horror. Derek Mears as Jason was rather impressive, but he’s stuck in a dud storyline that’s full of logical holes, lame characters, bad acting, and a predictable ending. Director Marcus Nispel comes from a music video background and it shows, lacking the insight and appreciation necessary to have effectively tackled this almost doomed to failure project.

There Will Be Blood – Usually, I steer clear of westerns, but maybe I’m in the mood to give them half a chance. And P.T. Anderson’s film might have been the motivator. Stellar acting, engrossing plot, a bit gritty, and, yes, there’s a milkshake involved. For once, the hype actually reflects reality.

Blood Diamond – Typically hate DiCaprio on sight, but am willing to give him a pass for this movie. Despite the somewhat corny ending, this one’s got action, oppression, corruption, forced labor, and, of course, some of the shiny stuff. Oh, and Jennifer Connelly, if you still have some leftover fantasies attached to her from the 1980s… like I do. Not as hippie, feel-good, leftist, or preachy as I thought it might be. I liked it, but I wouldn’t marry it. Unless you gave me a ring possessing a rock mined from the slavery of starving laborers. Then, we’ll talk.

[REC] – I know how so many genre fans love this movie, but I’m going to cry blasphemy here and say it: the American remake (“Quarantine”) was BETTER. This version is far too self-aware, overacted, overuse of shaky-cam, and slightly lacking in the dialogue. Its perks, however, include some honestly creepy moments, a wee bit of claustrophobia in the shots, and an overall good premise. See it first with expectations set to low, then check out the remake.

The Haunting In Connecticut – If jump scares were pussy, then this film is a coked-up Tijuana hooker on a Friday night during shore leave. Yes, yes, I get it. You want me to be shocked every 3 minutes, but it gets old after the first five or six attempts. This movie tries way too hard to be startling, and takes a lot of cliches down with it. Some of the acting was okay, though. But, the question remains: Why not just LEAVE THE HOUSE?!

Martyrs – A revenge tale with some odd twists, easing you first into the story and then sledgehammering you with the main conflict. Torture, blood, death, rinse, repeat. Another notch in the belt of French gore, with the last 20 minutes or so being a point of contention with genre fans. Definitely see it.

Like horror movies? Listen in as Jason and I take on our classic favorites on Terror Transmission!

About MGP 1239 Articles
Matt G. Paradise is Executive Director of Purging Talon, a media company responsible for releasing groundbreaking and often imitated audio, video, print, and Web work since 1993, including the internationally respected Satanic magazine, Not Like Most. Paradise is also a Magister in the Church of Satan and, since the early-1990s, has also done media representative work for the CoS through all major media forms — network television, radio, print publications, and the Internet. He is the author of Bearing The Devil’s Mark, a collection of writings on Satanism; as well as editor of The Book of Satanic Quotations (First and Second Editions). He was also producer and co-host of Terror Transmission, a horror movie commentary podcast; and is currently the producer and host of two podcasts (The Accusation Party and Strange Moments in Cultural History) on The Accusation Network.