Fascinating how on The Iraq Culture Smart Card (a highly recommended read), some of the helpful words include “danger”, “shelter”, “mines” and “weapon.” Should be one of many signposts warning the rest of the world to simply avoid the hotbed of religious violence, rape and ignorance known as the Middle East. Funnier still how our own culture pushes the whole tolerance thing down our throats in response, as if the daily parade of Bronze Age thinking taken to its logical and violent conclusion is just “a different culture.” That there are Islamic flags representing such concepts as “purity” and “martyrdom” somehow doesn’t bring up visions of horrific historical dictatorships for so many of the apologists, and that simply boggles the mind. Thankfully, most of the sane people on the planet — that is, outside of Allah’s wasteland — know that Islam is a poisonous creed, unrepentant in its foundational need for total world domination, genocide, and forced conversions of those left standing. And that’s not a mere opinion. Unlike many Americans, I’ve read the Koran. More than once. And it makes the misdeeds of such Biblical terrorists as Gideon, Moses, and King David seem like a walk in the park in its well-stated intentions.

Merely for fun, here are some “cultural” quirks no doubt demanded by Muslim faith. So, strap on your Kevlar and run for the next overturned vehicle, because here we go…

Don’t use your left hand for contact with others, eating, or gestures. It is considered unclean.

Must be interesting to be naturally left-handed over there. Even still, this is more superstitious bugaboo. And we all know that “unclean” is really a euphemism for “unholy” or “blasphemous” or whatever other control language these ancient desert cults (including Christianity) put forth. Why not just chop all of your left hands off and be done with it? No shortage of that lovely practice in the Middle East.

Don’t point with a finger; it is a sign of contempt. Instead, point with your entire hand.

Like a Nazi salute? Why don’t I just point with my elbow or my right ear? Such nonsensical rigmarole SHOULD be held in contempt. You know contempt… something Islam both eschews and encourages at the same time. Right. Nice religion you’ve got there. And you wonder why the civilized world doesn’t take you seriously.

Don’t ask for a single opinion on an issue, as Iraqis often first reply with the answer they think you want to hear, rather than an honest answer.

An entire culture of liars, and seemingly encouraged. Small wonder why actual civil discourse never seems to get accomplished amidst the Allah-fueled bloodbath. But not to worry. In the land of Jihad, “opinions” are already pre-assigned under pain of torture and bodily dismemberment. How nice.

Don’t slouch, lean, or appear disinterested when conversing with Iraqi men. Do not expose the soles of feet or shoes.

Yeah, and hide your women, whip them if they vote or drive, and chop people’s heads off. Did I miss something? Oh, yes, blow yourself up in crowded areas, too. And then, just to be completely ridiculous, throw in the naked feet thing as well. And disinterest? Musn’t actually express a contrarian viewpoint. That would be too much like… free will.

Don’t back away from an Iraqi during conversation. Close personal interaction is customary and distance is considered rude.

Distance = distrust. Though, I suppose I’d be distrustful if I lived in a society that was on the brink of mayhem at every turn.

Don’t offer a Muslim food or drink or consume either publicly during Ramadan. Never offer a Muslim alcohol or pork.

Tell me when Ramadan is and I’ll have a drunken pig roast to beat the band. Forget the dozens of virgins in the afterlife. Bring on the barbecue sauce!

Don’t engage in religious discussions.

Because questioning the backwards, archaic absurdities of Islam would actually lead to some rational thought for some. To secure their idiocy, don’t discuss it. Like the giant purple elephant in the room, just ignore it.

Don’t make the “OK” or “thumb’s up” signs; they are considered obscene.

But, what if you put them together? Oh, such naughtiness. Stick a veil on that, too.

Don’t praise an Iraqi’s possessions too much. He may give them to you and expect something of equal value in return.

So, you give me something and I’m supposed to give you something of the same worth? Um, how about I give you the very thing you just gave me and we call it even? Or maybe… that’s just weird.

No really meaningful wrap-up here. I’d rather keep today’s post fun and not socio-politically preachy. Besides, I have a birthday coming up and much associated trouble to get into, so there is simply no time for grandstanding. But, birthday nookie? Now, that’s something I could fly my hijacked airliner into, if you get my drift.

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