The Lord of Coke and Hot Dogs Is DEAD!

thelordisdead

Well, it appears that the worst has happened. The mighty Lord of Coke and Hot Dogs, previously rumored to be having a mere makeover, has been completely transmogrified into a lowly shill for antiques! Gone are His emblematic red and white colors, His sturdy cup and His rigid wiener, and even His crown of paper has been revoked. From a June 2009 entry on the Roadside America website:

The Iberville Muffler Man has gotten a makeover. He no longer holds the Coke & hot dog and he wears a ballcap instead of a cook’s paper hat. He now promotes the antiques place which has replaced the restaurant behind him. To be technical, he is at: 625 Rte 133, Ste-Anne-de-Sabrevois, QC. [Debra Jane Seltzer, 06/18/2009]

It is a sad day for all who partook of his nourishment. We remember fondly all of the tasty dogs, the goofy pictures, the impromptu songs, and, of course, His foreboding adieu to those exiting His presence: “The Lord of Coke and Hot Dogs bids you farewell… but I will HAUNT YOUR DREAMS!” Indeed, you will, big fella. Indeed, you will.

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About MGP 1239 Articles
Matt G. Paradise is Executive Director of Purging Talon, a media company responsible for releasing groundbreaking and often imitated audio, video, print, and Web work since 1993, including the internationally respected Satanic magazine, Not Like Most. Paradise is also a Magister in the Church of Satan and, since the early-1990s, has also done media representative work for the CoS through all major media forms — network television, radio, print publications, and the Internet. He is the author of Bearing The Devil’s Mark, a collection of writings on Satanism; as well as editor of The Book of Satanic Quotations (First and Second Editions). He was also producer and co-host of Terror Transmission, a horror movie commentary podcast; and is currently the producer and host of two podcasts (The Accusation Party and Strange Moments in Cultural History) on The Accusation Network.