Craigslist: You Are A Keeper

Sometimes, Burlington is funny…

you pissed in my parking lot – m4w (j-town)
Date: 2010-05-16, 2:00PM EDT

You were drunk and crying with a bunch of friends in my parking lot late at night a few months ago. I was drunk and smoking a cigarette on my balcony. You noticed me and then proceeded to drop your pants and piss in my parking lot while looking at me and screaming about your coochy and asking if i wanted it. I asked if you wanted some toilet paper or maybe some wine. Your friends laughed at me but I decided it was a good idea to give you both wine and toilet paper. I than gave you a hug and you and your wasted ass friends went off on your way. Your urine stain was in my parking lot until the ice melted last month.

You are a keeper.


Matt G. Paradise is Executive Director of Purging Talon, a media company responsible for releasing groundbreaking and often imitated audio, video, print, and Web work since 1993, including the internationally respected Satanic magazine, Not Like Most. Paradise is also a Magister in the Church of Satan and, since the early-1990s, has also done media representative work for the CoS through all major media forms — network television, radio, print publications, and the Internet. He is the author of Bearing The Devil’s Mark, a collection of writings on Satanism; as well as editor of The Book of Satanic Quotations (First and Second Editions). He was also producer and co-host of Terror Transmission, a horror movie commentary podcast; and is currently the producer and host of three podcasts (The Accusation Party, Vintage Vinyl Vivisection and Strange Moments in Cultural History) on The Accusation Network.

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