This Bus Runs On 100-Proof!

September 16, 2009 MGP 3

Bet some of you even forgot about the “City Bus Tragedies” category, judging by how long it’s been since its last entry. Well, take your seats and hang onto the bars because it’s time for yet another ride on the tragic bus… My only recent bus tale involves an inebriated and lecherous old man, and the two ladies who had to endure his advances. At first, the lush, sitting nearest […]

Good Ol’ Xmas Cheer… At The Bus Stop

December 18, 2008 MGP 1

It’s been a slow winter for bus tales, but here are two quick takes… I was standing at the stop waiting for my bus when I heard a few people around me gasp and mutter incoherently to each other. Being someone who loves a potential train wreck of a human being (from a distance, of course), I look around and my eyes quickly meet upon the subject of onlooker discussion. […]

Time For Another Ride On The Tragic Bus

September 26, 2008 MGP 1

My bus to work arrives at the Cherry Street stop at a relatively early time. As I stand in line to enter the vehicle, I notice something unusual about the reddish-haired girl in front of me. She turns her face just enough for me to think, “Hey, this girl looks like a female version of Mich… NO, WAIT! NOT AGAIN!” Yes, faithful readers, I have once again run into the […]

Don’t Tell Anyone… I Control Social Security

September 18, 2008 MGP 1

While waiting at the main stop today for my bus to work, a bus on a route not my own stopped and let off its passengers. Among the people who exit are two individuals, girl and guy, pleasant looking, probably in their mid-20s or thereabouts. They seem pretty coherent, not appearing to be on drugs or suffering from any mental illness, but there is something about these two that truly […]

Beware The Gnashing Of Tard Teeth

July 13, 2007 MGP 0

New tard on the bus! (I always feel that trumpets should accompany that statement… not the general announce-the-king variety, but the type that precedes a barbarian (mongol-oid?) horde descending upon its enemies.) And, to my approval, this one has that magical 21st chromosome. Yes, an actual member of the Down Syndrome tribe — a rare find in the Green Mountain State, and not to be confused with the run-of-the-mill white […]

Losers, Lookalikes… and Nietzsche, too.

May 17, 2007 MGP 0

There’s a new tard on my bus. No, not of the Down Syndrome variety, but rather the slow and space-cadet strain — something like a functional palsy. He also seems to be somewhat afraid of me, or at least wary of sitting near me. Every ride we’ve shared, he stares at me cautiously as he slinks out of his seat and trots off to one much farther away, rarely breaking […]

Tauntauns For Everyone!
(The Blizzard of 2007)

February 15, 2007 MGP 0

Yes, it’s official. Burlington, Vermont is now the ice planet Hoth. And I love it! In case you don’t actually know, Valentine’s Day brought us Vermonters (and others) one freaking huge dump of blizzard, so much so that it appears that we got the fourth most snow out of the deal according to that flawless work of “self-correcting” knowledge known as Wikipedia. (And the aforequoted is just for you, Simmon.) […]

Insanity or Retardation: You Decide!

November 8, 2006 MGP 0

Who loves the bus stories? Show of hands! Yeah, I thought so. Got up early yesterday because I had some errands to do before work. Early, of course, being about 10am. So, I wasn’t entirely prepared for the passengers who are no doubt typical to this pre-noon route. Or, at least I’d like to think so. The mid-morning parade of horribles filing into some or all of the four buses […]

Bus Stop… Or Therapist’s Office?

October 19, 2006 MGP 0

Most days, I try not to spend more time than is necessary at the main bus stop on Cherry Street, and in fact I regularly attempt to actually time my leaving for the stop to coincide with the -5 to -10 minute mark or thereabouts. Mostly, it’s a time management thing, which might lay to rest any musings some of you might have concerning how it is that I can […]

This Week On The Bus

August 24, 2006 MGP 0

While sitting at the Cherry Street bus stop yesterday, I noticed what appeared to be a new crazy person in town. Not that I keep up with these things, but when you live in such a small city, you tend to notice the newcomers — especially when they’re of a particularly looney sort. And, true to form with many that have come and gone from the Burlington downtown area, this […]

Do Tards Pay Full Bus Fare,
and Other Musings

December 2, 2005 MGP 0

Sitting along the center side-facing seats of my outbound bus today were a few Asian teenage boys. I couldn’t make out much of what they were saying, but I swore that I heard in the same sentence of a largely-English conversation (spoken poorly and with thick accent), “Hong Kong Phooey” and “morphine” — each word more than once, and always together! At this moment in my journey, I thought back […]