No, not the new movie with the similar name and the not similar plot, but the original heavy metal horror film from the mid-’80s. Classic slice of metal cheese with the undead rocker antagonist played by… a Solid Gold dancer? Blasphemy! But also true. Cameos from Ozzy and Mr. Simmons, and just enough fuel to feed the PMRC fire at the time. In retrospect, some harmless and admittedly goofy fun with a soundtrack from the band everyone in America forgot to notice: Fastway. Too bad, really.

So, get out your backwards spinning records and your lighter fluid, and enjoy this charming tale of a boy named Skippy and his misguided devotion to animal-printed bandanas and playing the stereo so loud, a dead evil rock star comes forth and scares the bejeesus out of a small suburban town on Halloween.

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Croatian radio performance. Favorite DiJ song ever.

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Music by Stephen Kasner and filmed in Belgium by Dwid Hellion, Tine Guns, Ture and SVH. For more, check out Blood Fountain’s MySpace page.

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There are many constants in the world. We will all grow old. We will all die. And Ozzy Osbourne will pretty much put on the exact same concert that he’s been performing for the last 25+ years.

A shining example of this predictability can be gathered in a way not involving having to go to some non-ventilated venue, pushed and bumped from all directions by sweaty, meth-addled music subculture losers, and, in the end, voluntarily relinquishing the years of proper hearing you have left. Yes, I am referring to the almighty live album. And what better evidence of recorded Ozzy concerts than the 1982 platinum-selling release of Speak of the Devil (or, Talk of the Devil, for you Brits).

By this point, Randy Rhoads is already dead. Rudy Sarzo is playing bass on this one, a month prior to quitting and joining Quiet Riot. Of course, there’s the pre-Night Ranger guitarist, Brad Gillis as well. And you probably don’t care about the drummer and keyboardist, so what’s the point?

Speak of the Devil is a collection of live-performed Black Sabbath classic and not-so-classic tunes (covered?) and, oddly, one you cannot get anymore in North America as it was deleted from the catalogue in 2002. Ozzy might hate this album (which he claims he did due to label pressures as a response to the Dio-fronted Live Evil Sab album of live tracks) and there are rumors that it isn’t as “live” as it purports to be, but who cares? What we do get from this album — in addition to Ozzy’s intermittently out-of-tune vocals, of course — is The Three Wants of Ozzy. Purely for clarification…

1. He Wants Us To Know That He Loves Us All
2. He Wants To See Your Hands (Come On!)
3. He Wants Us To “Keep On Smokin’ It”

Of course, I’m getting older and have long since lost patience for music subculture nonsense and the Peter Pan Syndrome it so glaringly invites. In response to the above…

1. Rock musicians do not love us. They need us for money, and little else. The “love” bit is an effective means by which to get you to part with your cash. Ever told a girl you loved her just to get her in bed? Same premise.
2. Put your hands down and stop acting like a monkey. And ditto with the lighters. Trust me, you’ll be cringing 10-20 years from now.
3. Drugs are a marvelous filter to divide masters from slaves — drug addicts, being in the latter category. If you have no brains, then, yes, keep smoking “it.”

Still, I love the classics — with all of the schmaltz, tackiness and cheese that come along with ‘em. As a spectator, of course.

But, enjoy your music today. Because you just might outgrow a whole bunch of what’s attached to it a lot sooner than you think. A decade or two from now, you can sit back and watch your embarrassingly documented youth on YouTube (or whatever takes its place) in all of its stubborn and short-sighted glory. And won’t that be fun?

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The preceding clip is from a hard-to-find movie called The Dungeonmaster (also known as “Ragewar”). I could describe it in my own words, but this is the Internet and someone else has already done it for me:

“Paul, a computer whiz who spends more time with his machine than with his girlfriend, finds that he has been chosen as a worthy opponent for Mestema, an evil wizard who has spent centuries searching for a challenging foe. After having his computer changed into a wristband weapon, Paul does battle with a variety of monsters before finally coming face to face with the ultimate adversary.”

In other words, it is high-grade, full-blown, top shelf, extreme ’80s cheese. The “evil wizard” is even played by the bald guy on Night Court, for cryin’ out loud. Bonus! Of course, my sugar-overdosed teen brain, demanding immediate neck injury, always had to fast-forward to this part wherein W.A.S.P. assayed the role of Hell’s band, or something like that. Definitely a cult classic from my days of yore. Anyhoo, in 1985, any P.M.R.C. Hit List musical act that battles its opponent with heavy metal is about three power chords above awesome. Take that, Sheena Easton!

I still have a nearly quarter-century old VHS recording of this flick lurking somewhere in the tape stacks. Did I just say “quarter-century”? Moving along…

So, this was a nostalgia post today. Enjoy.

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from Naked Rabbit: This piece was commissioned by the experimental sound collage group Negativland for the video compilation, “Our Favorite Things.” The track had been cut by Negativland several years before, an audio document of their problems with copyright/trademark issues concerning their “U2″ album. This little piece, made on Disney equipment after hours when no one was looking, remains quite popular. San Francisco experimental filmmaker Craig Baldwin has been kind enough to include it in “culture jamming” programs he has organized throughout the US and Europe. Several times has it been used in conferences and on panels about copyright for the legal profession.The statute of limitations has apparently run out on this piece, and it is now considered perfectly legal.

If wanting to really get a gauge of what Negativland is all about, you need to view the documentary, Sonic Outlaws. There’s a reason why it aired more than once on Subterranean SINema.

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Stop-motion animated music video for the track, “Driving This Road Until Death Sets You Free” by Zombie Zombie. Directed by Simon Gesrel and Xavier Ehretsmann, it’s an homage to the director and soundtrack composer John Carpenter. True horror fans will instantly know which movie…

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For the love of Precious Roy, why isn’t the only good show to ever air on MTV released on DVD? Yes, two sock puppets were infinitely more charismatic and entertaining than any music hack in heavy rotation at that time, or even today. It was on the air during the first two years of my former public access show, and I always knew that each episode of mine had to top S&O or die trying. And while I’m somewhat kidding there, I do want this program to come out on DVD one day. Suckers!

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